


In Your Eyes, There is Someone Who Isn't Me

by Snapperoni



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Feelings Realization, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Reflection, Reminiscing, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:47:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29818263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snapperoni/pseuds/Snapperoni
Summary: After being brought back to life, and after disappearing into the mountains, Tien does some thinking. However, he isn't too sure what to do with his new revelations- or if he's even ready to really acknowledge them.
Relationships: Tenshinhan/Yamcha (Dragon Ball), mentions of Yamcha/Bulma
Kudos: 5





	In Your Eyes, There is Someone Who Isn't Me

_ “What are you saying? You have Bulma waiting for you, don’t you!?” _

  
  


...Those were his words. Those were Tien’s  _ own  _ words that he said to Yamcha when the fool was more than eager to remain in the afterlife with him and Chiaotzu, his life beforehand apparently nothing more than an afterthought. As Tien sat at the mountain’s cliffside, he let his brows furrow, both in confusion and frustration. Confusion in that even months later he failed to understand Yamcha’s rationale, but frustration in that he ever dared to question it.

But he knew why he said what he did: even if their relationship was less than ideal- far from it, some might say, Tien was still able to see the adoration Yamcha held for Bulma. He was able to see how his eyes would light up once he remembered something particularly endearing about her- how even as he relayed to him about one of her more recent and violent outbursts, he only  _ dared  _ paint her as a villain. How he always seemed ready to drop whatever he was doing if it meant dedicating himself to her. Whether Bulma shared the same enthusiasm for Yamcha was questionable, but what mattered more to Tien was that Yamcha, despite all of their shortcomings, seemed determined enough to make things work with her.

And much to his shame, that simple fact made his heart ache.

What more to make his stomach twist was recollecting Yamcha’s reaction to his seemingly-appropriate question back on King Kai's planet; perhaps he expected gratitude or even enthusiasm, but what lay in wake seemed disappointment-  _ hurt, _ even. It was subtle, his eyes widening enough to follow his raised brows, the pair stitching together with a small knit. But Tien was always fairly perceptive, and now registering the response he wanted nothing more than to crumble the mountain he sat upon. Was he dejected because Tien seemed so cold with his concern? How he didn’t even bother to spare a simple _ thank you, _ or even a smile to the beyond-thoughtful willingness to stay _dead,_ completely ignoring the woman he otherwise-seemingly devoted himself to? Or perhaps…

Before he thought to tread on whimsies such as those, Tien abruptly stood up from where he sat, casting a glance behind him to check on Chiaotzu. Wrapped in his cape and using his supply sack as a makeshift pillow, Tien found his friend curled up and fast asleep, none the wiser to his silent brooding. His eyes lingering just a bit longer to really ensure his slumber, Tien began to descend the alp, figuring a walk would aid in clearing his head.

How was this happening to him in the first place? Opposed to sleeping or traveling or even training well into the morning, Tien found himself navigating the thin woods of the surrounding forest. Once in a while, he found himself in an open clearing to see the cloudy night sky above. Allowing his mind to wander further, he began to reflect upon his relationship with Yamcha, finding the progression rather… strange.

Starting as rivals and becoming comrades was one thing, but what had happened between the pair that made his chest flutter at the mere thought of him? Was it his readiness to forget Tien’s cruelty, such kindness the first he was sure he ever experienced in his life? Did he merely admire his ambition both in combat and his personal endeavors? Perhaps it was the way his long, messy locks framed his face, his rather-pretty complexion complimenting his otherwise hardened body. While a rather lithe body, a strong body nevertheless that told Tien strength alone would mean nothing had there been no compassion to drive and balance him out. Grimacing at his former years in life- years that weren’t even a decade behind him yet, Tien pondered what Yamcha was able to see within him. In comparison to his companion’s small frame, Tien was significantly built, his large physique doing well to intimidate onlookers with a casual glance never mind actually  _ interacting  _ with him. But with so much power, he only sought to use it for villainy. For murder, for crime- for _abuse._ So what made Yamcha see that beneath Tien’s sadistic exterior, there lay a man worthy of love and redemption?

Coming across another clearing, Tien stopped his mindless dawdling. Stewing on his most recent question, he found himself agitated as the answer didn’t immediately manifest. Focusing on a nearby tree, he eased his exhaustion by gripping the bark on the sides, resting his forehead against it. Pressing his lips into a fine line, Tien attempted to think of other things and distract himself.

But his attempt would be in vain. Instead, his mind continued to traverse the past, thinking back to the very moment the pair met each other. All things considered, their first interaction wasn’t anything too extravagant- Yamcha only wanted to quell Tien’s arrogance and that was that. Contemplating upon it, Tien felt himself smile at the memory: let it be that their first time talking to each other was because Yamcha was sticking up for others. It was sickeningly in-character for him- he only wished that Yamcha didn’t have to stand up to  _ him.  _ His smile was quick to falter both at that detail and on the remembrance in general. Thinking more, Tien felt selfish in his thoughts; back then, perhaps he would have been able to delude himself in fantasies, acting as though maybe one day Yamcha would similarly adore Tien. After all, he wasn’t even aware that Yamcha and Bulma were an item until after the tournament. Nowadays, it was evident such a dream could never come to fruition. Remembering Bulma, Tien was reminded of the pure infatuation that lay behind Yamcha’s gaze whenever he looked at her- a gaze he quietly wished would only be reserved for himself.

Tien’s grievances only festered as he brought himself back to the present. Right now he was pressed against a tree on the precipice of ripping the plant straight out of the ground and throwing it far away. He could only ask himself again: how did he get here?  _ Why  _ was he here? For the past few weeks, Tien tried to convince himself he brought Chiaotzu with him into the wilderness to seek out better training. Of course, there was  _ some  _ truth to that excuse. But as his nails dug into the charcoal-colored bark before him, his real endeavors became painfully apparent. 

Because in actuality, he was running away. Tien was running away not from an alien or demon, but from his feelings- a rather  _ unexpected  _ adversary in review of his past enemies. He didn’t even bother to bid anyone goodbye- he didn’t even bother to bid  _ Yamcha  _ goodbye. How could he when  _ he  _ was the primary reason he was leaving in this first place? In the end, despite what others may have thought of him, Tien was a coward. A coward, while ready to face off against infernal monsters alone, couldn’t even look his friend in the eyes while knowing of the feelings he harbored for him. A coward who refused to ever address such feelings head on, not with Chiaotzu nor even with himself. A coward who felt his lips tremble as he longed for nothing more than to feel Yamcha’s arm sling over his shoulder as he gave him a  _ friendly  _ greeting, to hear his voice boisterous and cheerful in his ear as his cheek pressed against his own- to simply  _ see  _ him, something Tien wasn’t even certain he could will himself to ever do again.

For years, it was easy to suppress his  _ other  _ emotions- he expected that the one that made his cheeks flare and his knees shake would be simple to hide away as well. That would turn out to be toxic optimism at play, that nauseatingly-sweet adulation only seeming to grow and infect his mind with the progressing years. Yamcha’s declaration back on King Kai’s planet became the breaking point, the impulsive decision injecting a vile dose of hope into Tien that perhaps maybe-  _ somehow,  _ Yamcha shared his affections, even if it was just a little. It let Tien believe for a moment that Yamcha loved him just as much as he did him- that he  _ really was  _ ready to abandon everything else if it meant being by Tien’s side for eternity. It would have put  _ ‘til death do us part _ to utter shame, their love strong enough to exist even beyond the constraints of life. The thought, even if Tien had long-since rationalized it impossible, made his breath hitch and his heart pound against his chest.

Burying his fingers totally into the tree this time, Tien had ripped it free from the ground with ease before thoughtlessly throttling it somewhere with a maddened yell. Watching the last speck of the tree disappear into the horizon Tien let out an exasperated breath, deciding he did enough thinking that night.


End file.
